Todayish

I'm not mad at God any more.

I just miss my little boy so much. I'm struggling to figure out where I am.

But I praise the Lord God Most High. For He gives me the days and the nights. He gives me the smiles in my friends and my little brother. He gives me the strength and love of friends. Above all He gives me the gift of Jared. His love, his strength his life.

He gave me the gift of a little boy who will live forever in my heart and mind.

He gives me the gift of strength and good will. He gives me the ability to love and praise Him through it all.

He brings me to it and He will bring me through it.

Though I struggle and I weep, though I hurt and crumble, He will gather me again.

For my tears are His own. My heartache He knows and feels too.

My son left me as His Son hung on the cross. And although I struggle and tell Him I'm not cut out to be a Mary, a Job or a Hosea, He tells me to die to myself and let Him live through me.

I stand but I stand in Christ. It's not me that you see. It's Christ in me.

I miss my little boy. I miss my little hero, my sweet boy, our buddy. The pain throws me to my knees.

All I can say is that He gives and takes away. And I praise Him through it all. For it is all Great.