So I'm going to try this. I will start off by saying I'm not sure about all this. I'm not comfortable talking about my feelings during hard times. I already feel vunerable. Talking about it just makes me feel exposed and more vunerable. But if this can bring me some closure and make my little Avery's life not be in vain, then I'm willing to try.
First off I'm miserable. I feel like the Llorona. A ghost, lost, crying, searching. This is the first time in my life where I can't seem to find my bounce back. And I've bounced back from a lot.
Broken hearted but still seeking God, hurt but still trying.
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About Me
- Meghan
- Former Teacher and Violinist. Currently Bioethics MA student (2015) at Wake Forest University with hopes of Med School (neonatology). Mother of 3- Avery (4/14/09-7/30/09) Breanna and Knox. Lovingly and hopelessly devoted to my wonderful "tombstone" Jared. I believe in compassion binds us together....and that is the truth of life.
Firstly I want to say I'm sorry to hear of you loss. I'm looking at a picture of Avery to the right and he certainly is a handsome little man.
ReplyDeleteSo far I had read your first (this one) and I'm now feeling shaky, light headed and like i'm going to throw up as i feel like i'm ready my own journal, only 2 weeks prior. My son passed away two weeks later, he too had gastroschisis and tragically and unexpectedly died.