I don't mean to sound rude at all, things are very difficult and I'm back at school and my new position starts up next week and Jared is starting a new job too. We're trying to stay on our A game.
We've been getting way too many momentous too, the house is turning into a shrine. Plus the dates and memorials make his life so final. The house is getting harder and harder to be in. We have one room in the house, the TV room, that doesn't have any Avery stuff, no pictures, no baby, no memorandums. Jared and I literally camp out there.
For our sake, and also for Avery's legacy we're STRONGLY recommending that people donate money to his fund via Cutler Andrews at 919-843-7648 or cutler_andrews@med.unc.edu Even the $5 or so that people spend on sympathy cards.
Sympathy cards are another thing. The words are, sorry, dumb and we have to read over them and realize they're sent because of his death.....it just is a reminder of what happened.
We keep getting them. We haven't checked our mailbox in a week because we dread them. I hope I don't sound awful. I'm not meaning to be. I know people are trying to help but it's not helpful.
It's like a hiccup in our day. We can't stop thinking about him, but we think about his death when we get cards and momentous and so forth so it grips us and pulls us into that pit. Again, seeing those dates and hearing the words, it puts a period after his life and reminds us.
And I feel obligated to write people thank yous back. So it elongates the process even further. And I feel guilty right now because I'm sooooooooooo far behind on cards. But I just can't bring myself to sit down and start writing thank yous for cards about the death of my son.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, do not feel that we are keeping tabs on who sent us cards and who didn't. We literally glance at the names and throw them in the garbage. I don't think we remember anyone who sent us cards, unless there was a gift attached (and I'm again not trying to be rude) then we have that to remind us.
And we understand the gesture. But please just to give it all to his fund. He died almost a month and a half ago and we're trying to heal and move forward.
NO MORE. Please, NO MORE.
There have been very few donations to the fund, and that is our primary focus. It's a way to celebrate his life and not commorate his death!!!!!!! DONATE TO THE FUND!! Please please please! We get names of those who donated so see? There's two in one! We get the note that you're thinking of us and you can put the $2-$5 towards something great!
I don't mean to put anyone in a bad spot or to be rude at all. It's just extremely difficult. They have me running ragged at school because if I sit still with nothing to do I just burst into tears.
So just pass the word along. Please?
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